Sunday, December 2, 2012


Nostalgia. Yes that's what it feels like, being back here at AKz Archives.

Without thinking I looked up the word's meaning. It comes from Greek, and means a state of homesickness - and a pain, an ache a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to past associated with happy memories. I heaved a sigh. Yeah, that's right.

Memories, feelings, stray thoughts just everything comes gushing in, and this time I neither barricaded myself  from them or sank into the usual sadness. I just accepted them, rather welcomed them. Because I knew that sooner or later the time to move on will come and I will have to move on.

I have to make the decision and this can be the first step to start the journey back to being myself. I have taken long and now I have to move forward.

I've lost count of the number of times I thought about taking up writing again, forming words, weaving ideas. Sometimes out of pain and hurt and sometimes out of hope and love. Nothing has been strong enough to ignite the spark and arouse my brain. I wanted to write with all my heart, I wanted complete peace of mind, no interruptions, I wanted to mute all the noise around me and concentrate. But I failed it, like so many other tests. I've always had the luxury of being able to trace my thoughts in words fluently. But the long gap of bitterness, agony, disappointments and abandonment have shaken my confidence here too, and left me struggling with words.

This wasn't how I imagined it will work because until this minute I was still unsure. And then like a piece of jigsaw puzzle fitting in its place I realize that I will not overcome my weakness until I will not make myself to write this time. Not just write but take it to the end, complete this post and publish it!

And now when I write, I write for myself. I write because I still feel am not a lost cause. I hope, oh yes I am hoping, that the odds will be in my favor. I need the leap of faith and I am willing to take it. I know that I can take a lifetime and wait for the right moment or I can make my moment. I chose the latter.

Its tough getting up from a high fall. It tougher to climb up again, but giving up isn't the option now.

Have a great day my readers.
See you soon with something better and interesting the next time. This was just a little message for you and myself.


Its AK signing off.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Things Unsaid

Hi dear readers and friends!

Hope you all had a great start to the new year and may it proves wonderful and constructive one. Yeah I know you all are expecting the new year resolutions post!! :) Well it wasn't that work kept me away from blogging. I was trying to find out my new year resolutions, to gauge if I have the right amount of virtue to follow them without being astray, and recommend them to my dear readers! :)

Well I started building up my resolutions and to note them down here in my editor, waiting for the right time to complete and publish them. It was as usual that I opened up 'Edit Posts' link from my Blogger's dashboard and glanced upon the post titles, there were all my published post and more than those were my unfinished, non published work! The things that were unsaid, they have not lost their significance, but the time to say them have passed. Leaving them faded and old, like the pages of a book, unread and frail, remaining untouched over the years.

So don't let time build webs over your thoughts and bury them deep inside and further into the deepest corner of your mind. Someday long afterwards you'll find them among the pile of old forgotten items. Say it at the right time. :)

Catch you guys soon, as I hope my application servers restart, I am on a 10 mins break from work!
Take Care. Adios!