There is always a Silver Lining to the Blues...

Sometimes its just a stray thought, a daily happening, a word we overhear or any little thing that plunges us into the blues and we feel desolated from our surroundings, separated from the rest of the people around us. As if we are marked out to be tried again and again.... At such times it’s hard to disguise the sadness within and laugh and joke with the rest. We may wonder, why it has to be me? At those time the river deep within just wants to gush out, tearing down all the barriers that have been blocking it for so long....

Some days ago I felt deeply afflicted and in my distress the cheerful side of my disposition took over and I started wondering if there could be a way to find out the secret of happiness somehow? To capture and learn it, so that I may be able to thwart the sorrow and despair that affects me. I directed my thoughts so as to break away from the glum mood, to live my life! And comprehension suddenly dawned, as my thoughts whispered out the secret to me, and do you know what it was? I realized that I, hold the key to my happiness!

The choice of being bitter or better lies with me, and it is my decision that affects my happiness. It’s my outlook towards life that makes it beneficial or sore, for me and others around me. I know that life isn’t all smooth and pretty, it maintains equilibrium, because too much sweet is spoiling, isn’t it? The good times and the hard times just balance it out perfectly for me. Without the hardships and trials, I wondered, how will I learn to value the reward and happiness that I reap, and be grateful for it?

Sometimes only a little good news tells us that there is happiness and goodness around. That is exactly what happened with me. As I was on my way back to home, I got a message from a friend, informing about the birth of a girl to a close friend of mine... This news just changed my mood completely! Just like the shining sun that emerges from behind the clouds after a dark storm, rejuvenating the beings!

I realized that in my dissatisfaction and grumblings, I have forgotten how rich I am in the countless blessings Allah has bestowed upon me! What an ingrate I had been to weep a tear and never comprehending what  damage I was doing to myself, because of my bitter thoughts!

My stranded and tangled thoughts connected together, showing that a clear road lies ahead. I understood that in the remembrance of Allah, in seeking help from Him, believing that you will always be helped, there lies all the success and peace!

Relief, swept over me, wave over wave, as I realized that Allah has guided me to khair again, that He has not deserted me! That beautiful feeling strengthen my faith, I came to know deep within my heart that these tough experiences are to train me strong, rather than breaking me apart. It is to bring me closer to my Lord, rather than distancing me away from Him!

Remember, there’s always a silver lining to the darkest cloud, I didn't understand it when Iffu first told me the meaning of this idiom, but now I know it means that there is always hope to look forward to!. Listen to the voice that speaks softly in the times of despair and be grateful to Allah for all His countless blessings and favors! Because Allah grants more to those who are thankful for what they have got and bear with patience what that has been taken away from them.

It was on this journey that I grasped in truth , “worry ends when faith begins”!

It was only yesterday when upon reading this Hadith, that I decided to share my journey with you, hoping that may be in any modest way it'll help you to strengthen that perpetual connection with Al Rehman...

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle(Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials."

Translation of Sahih Bukhari

Volume 7, Book 70, Number 548:

Life Returns...

On the way back from office, I was listening to some nasheeds.
I was randomly picking up my playlist when I came across 'Life Returns', a nasheed by Dawud Wharnsby, and was completely overwhelmed by it.


Here's the link to it, do listen, its simply wonderful. Although I have heard it a couple of times before but the feeling i experienced that time, cannot be put into words...


And among His Signs in this: thou seest the earth barren and desolate; but when We send down rain to it, it is stirred to life and yields increase. Truly, He Who gives life to the (dead) earth can surely give life to (men) who are dead. For He has power over all things.  [Al Quran 41:39]




The earth is hard,
Soil is cracked,
bleached and blistered.
Trees bend, withered and weary.
Ground gasps, dusty and dry.

Allah hears and the rain comes
wetting and washing the world,
Flushing and flooding the clay,
Spilling and splashing,
Life returns.

Allahu Akbar! (Allah is great!)

We are the cracked earth,
The thirsty, dirty spirit of man.
If we gasp, we will be heard.
Forgiveness falls like rain on our hands.

Allah hears and the rain comes
Wetting and washing the world,
Flushing and flooding the clay,
Spilling and splashing,
Life returns.
Allahu Akbar! (Allah is great!)




What else can be a better new year resolution... a better incentive... A Return To Life. Journey of our dusty, tired parched and thirsty souls, towards salvation, peace and harmony..


A Very Happy New Year to All....
Have a blessed year and life ahead, may Allah guide all of us to Hidayat. ameen.

Moon, Dreams and Life

A stroll under a starry sky with the full moon gliding beside the clouds, in a chilly night is one of the most beautiful and aesthetic experiences ..
It has been a busy day. I had to complete my packing for my upcoming flight, had to do some last minute shopping while trying to cope up with a sudden flu and above all was consistently trying to bear the din that my siblings were making (they were a ‘little’ hyper, enjoying five holidays in a row because of Eid). Naturally, all this exertion was too much and resulted in a ‘slight’ headache!

I decided to escape from the entire hustle bustle downstairs and headed to our rooftop to say hello to my dear friend, the splendid full moon, and to greet its devoted companions, the shinning plasma balls, the stars...

Whenever I observe the full moon, its splendour and solitude always impress me into a peaceful and contented silence, to marvel the beauty of this universe and everything in it. Silence which gives me the time to reassemble my scattered thoughts, to reflect on most of the things that I’ve forgotten and have pushed deeper inside my mind... It brings alive all those fantasies that my mechanical routine had sent to a slumber! It mesmerizes me almost every time. I think I can never explain my joy in words here...

This time, however, it wasn’t the moon that probed my thoughts. It was the recitation that I was listening to, while walking in the moonlight, which made me grab my notebook and write down this piece.

'And He gave you of all that you asked for, and if you count the blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them.' Al Quran (14:34)


When I was a little girl, I always used to dream of a cosy little home with a lovely garden having a couple of trees and some beautiful flowers. A room where the window opens towards east, from where the rising sun greets you with a good morning and the moon to bade you adieu in the night while you snuggle in your bed...

As I was standing leaning on the roof’s wall, looking over the topmost branches of the mango tree that were at level with my face, watching a cat smuggling into the garden, that my childish fantasy came to my mind.

I realized that Allah has fulfilled my dream long ago! He has blessed me with a home I dreamt of, with a perfect and loving family. And as I started pondering, many things dawned at me. I became aware how very ungrateful I've been!

I had been busy in keeping up with the pace of the outside world, and in doing so, I isolated myself from the little joys and wishes that I used to cheer. In looking for bigger dreams, I let go of the little pleasures that came my way...

Life doesn’t spare you a moment to turn back the wheels of time, be grateful enjoy what you've got and make the most of your little achievements and dreams! Live them fully and find a reason to be happy, to stay happy and to flourish happiness amongst those around you and your loved ones.
Because happiness is always around us, it’s we who turn away from little joys in life, seeking and running after others (the big ones), missing what that comes in our way.

Whatever you do, remain grateful to Allah, for His numerous blessings that you observe and for all those that you can never comprehend!

Take Care, and have fun!

Sisters at Heart!

I had been very busy for the past few days, it was Ramadan first and then Eid, then the encumbering and hectic routine at office with quite some late sittings, and to add to it was a parting, a parting from a beloved friend, who was going to a far off place...

It was the parting of ways which was the most difficult for me. Sometimes we love someone so much that they become an inseparable part of ourselves and our lives. We can’t imagine any joy or celebration without them, and we can never ever spare a single thought to what we would do without them! Sisters are surely such cherished friends!

Yes, the friend I am talking about is no other than my sister...

I don’t have the perfection and control over my words, or the gift to convey my emotions and thoughts in prose or poetry; I wonder how amazing poets are, to do so...!
But I can try to write all that I’ve felt and missed, to let it be an adios till we meet again! Insha’Allah!(I’ve started looking forward to it already!)

Sisters are special, and mine is no exception. She’s only a year younger than me and there is more than companionship between us! We are counsellor to each other, secret keepers (wow that was the most ‘interesting part’), school mates, quarrellers (we had our fair share of fights too), buddies and everything, every relationship that can be thought off!

I remember all those adventures we’ve had together, all the fun, the merriment, the play and enjoyment, the long talks late in night, the fights over who is going to sleep on which side of bed, the skirmishes on cleaning the room/wardrobe considering she’s very organized (meekly confessing!), getting ready for school together, doing our hair simultaneously in the same mirror, the bickering on the way to van, the cards that she always used to place under my pillow on my birthdays, and so many more... All those gestures and lovely memories...

I recalled how we learned everything together from skating to driving, how she used to put up when I used to study late for my University exams, keeping the light on till late night. How I used to dread getting her into temper and how restless I used to get when we use to stop talking to each other after quaralling! And oh we used to address each other as ‘Aap’, and avoid eye contact! It was mostly me who used to patch up being the eldest (ahem ahem, I’m always a peacemaker), but I remembered that it was she who made it up the last time, we quarrelled (after a long time on a very silly thing), and then after two days she came over and hugged me apologizing, and I couldn’t help hugging her back. Her smile her mischievous ways, the spirit and energy in her, the boldness and daring nature, I couldn't ignore my little sis, everything was forgotten and forgiven long ago!
How proud and glad I used to be of her, and I still am!

I’ll miss her calls at office now, just when I used to be in the middle of something critical or tense and at that particular moment, a message, a call used to be a rejuvenating breath of fresh air to me, the sweet voice in which she used to ask, ‘Aapi kaisi ho, lunch ker lia..?’ and i used to say, ‘nahi yaar Appi(that is what I used to call her just like my other sibs!), abhe aik kam me houn, will do it after some time’. And then I used to distractedly listen to her and finish up hurriedly. Afterwards realizing that what a word of love and comfort means!

It was still the same when I talked to her yesterday, the same sweet voice saying ‘Aapi kaisi ho... ‘. Telling me enthusiastically about her family, about her new routine, asking after me and telling me to take care of myself and everyone at home, I just wished I could fly and reach her!

Sometimes I used to think why life is so unfair, why do girls have to leave their families, and why don’t boys?
A counter thought readily came to me here, I’ve seen many parents who send their boys to far off places for studies or for employments, then they settle down there. Come to their parents and families seldom, that too in long years, they don’t even have the time to ask after their loved ones.

Its right that girls settle down, leaving behind their families and parents, but they have got their blessings, they keep in touch, they nurture new relationships, new families, the love keeps on growing!

It’s Life, and Life is change, but we sometimes are reluctant to accept it at first, because we are unaware that Allah plans the best for us! And now that I have realized it, I remember a long forgotten verse from Shakespere, "Presence Strengthen Love, but Absence Sharpen It!":

Absence doth sharpen love, presence strengthens it;
the one brings fuel, the other blows it till it burns clear.
--William Shakespeare

And I guess my heart understood it better than me, as I hugged her close for the last time at the airport, our hearts beating together, my eyes never cried, but i prayed and prayed with all might! 

May Allah bless you with the best of everything my dearest sis! May He fill your life with Love, Happiness, Peace and Prosperity and accept all your prayers and wishes. And keep you and your family in His protection always. Ameen!

And as we parted, I was satisfied at the new beginning, glad to know that open arms will welcome her there, and she'll be at last with her family!

May Allah bless you forever my dearest!

Love,
from your aapi!

Goodbye Saleem!

Saleem cutting his last birthday cake with us!

 
I will always remember 22 December 2008; it was the day when I first met Saleem Mirza.
It was nearly 2 pm as I was waiting at the reception to be interviewed by the Karachi Office’s Director. Just when I was beginning to get impatient a man entered the reception area and asked for me. He was of a tall stature, wearing glasses and a courteous countenance, as I observed. I stood up as he introduced himself as Saleem Mirza, the director of Techlogix Karachi Office, and lead me to his room for the interview. He opened the door and entered after me, took his chair after I had taken mine and apologized for keeping me waiting! He asked if I would like to have some coffee or tea, and inquired if I would not mind waiting a few more minutes, so that he could finish writing an important email!
I was very astonished at the gracious manners of the Director, towards a fresh graduate, who came for an interview! 

It was almost 2 hours later that I left Saleem’s room; it was a thoroughly unique experience for me. I came to know that Saleem was not only modest and frank but exceptionally intelligent and a cool minded person, having a ‘Nothing-is-Impossible’ attitude towards his profession. He had the ability to course a constructive discussion on any topic be it technicalities or education, hobbies or politics, with an ease that speaks plainly of the vast scope of his intellect. A very rare person who makes you comfortable the instance he starts talking with you!

This was the first impression that I had of Saleem, an impression which never left me and will always stay with me whenever I’ll think of him!

From my very first day at Techlogix, Saleem was very helpful and genial. Be it the Employee Handbook, health insurance forms or the bank account opening, he explained everything to me in detail. During lunch he used to discuss any topic at hand, be it current affairs, games or our hobbies, and his demeanor always encouraged us to speak up our minds and share our ideas. I will remember all those lunches, events and TRF when he used to share his experiences of traveling or people, when he used to say something witty and laugh at it along us. He was not only cheerful and friendly at his verbal communication but also in his written communication. His emails addressed to Karachi office always used to start with ‘Folks’ and end with ‘Cheers!’.

Saleem extreme right on his birthday celebrations!

Reminiscences of Saleem would be incomplete without mentioning Table Tennis! He was a champion when it comes to TT tournaments, always the best at everything, how Saleem could have been any different at TT! He was a player all others used to awe and dread, especially his classic smashes and serve! We used to wonder how come Saleem played so extraordinary without any practice!

Whenever I had a concern or a complaint, I used to consult Saleem without any hesitation. I always found him attentive and hospitable, assuring and helpful. I will never forget the concern and kindness with which he used to inquire in detail after my father’s health, at the time when my father was seriously ill and undergoing medical treatments, he was always assuring and benign.

My work experience with Saleem was no different either. It was challenging because there wasn’t any area and technology that Saleem didn't knew. He always used to be well prepared for all the meetings, well informed regarding the project(s) and the task at hand. Always eager to explain and help with the learning of new tools and technologies. He was involved deeply in nearly every project going on in Karachi office, a living FS and Design Guidebook of all those projects!

I remember all the long project discussions we used to had, and me coming out of his room with my mind full of things, wondering with awe how did Saleem knew such a lot! He was a perfectionist when it comes to work, very committed and dedicated. He used to read our minds, I remember those times when I used to show my disapproval of the minute change requests sent by the clients, and taking in my expressions he used to put in a funny comment so abruptly that I had to stop myself with difficulty from laughing hard! He always used to give credit with such enthusiasm and generosity that the next time you wanted to work harder to please him!

There was no haughtiness or pride in Saleem; he always treated all of us on an equal footing. I noticed after joining Techlogix, that everybody called him Saleem. Our seniors used to say that he had asked them not to call him by anything, but his name. It had been just a month working with him on a project, when one day after the meeting he called me back and said, 'Jinaab, there is no need to call me Sir! Bas Saleem bola kerain'!

There is so much more that I wanted to write and say. I want to pour out all the recollections and to keep on writing. But I must stop, because there are memories etched deep in my mind, memories which I will keep cherishing and remembering!

The 17^th of August was a heartbreaking day when I read about Saleem’s death just after the Mo’azan finished the call to Fajr prayer. I was frozen with shock, when I got the SMS telling that we have lost Saleem forever, it was incomprehensible, meaningless, and I keep repeating to myself that it can’t be true! Until the news was confirmed, I hoped dreadfully to let it be a mistake please, don’t let it be true. It was just the same with everyone else I contacted to confirm or inform about Saleem! We all didn’t want to believe that Saleem is gone!

Inna Lil Lahi Wa Inna Elaihi Ra’jioun!

All that day memories kept flashing at me, at times making me cry and sometimes making me smile in spite of myself. The happy face of Saleem, his ways and his jokes, all the events we had with him, the ice skating and bowling at Arena, the dinners and lunches. All the project status meetings with him, the late sittings for the releases, the CBD QA fixes on Saturday at which he was present to give us support, all those kept coming back to me.

All of a sudden it dawned on me that the contact ‘Saleem Mirza’ will never again blink on my screen, there won’t be any new emails in the folder ‘Saleem Mirza’, the first line of the attendance register won’t say anymore that Saleem reached office at 8:30 am, not anymore would he peep from his office’s doorway and beckon me in, saying, ‘Jinaab aik cheez discuss kerni hai, agar time ho tou ajain!’. I remembered our last meeting, our last goodbye, our last lunch and our last TRF with Saleem. Not for a second have we dreamt that we would never ever see him again!

I wanted to say so many things to him; it was only after he left for the US, that I realized I will miss him very much. It was then, that I felt his special qualities and virtues most deeply. I wanted to apologize and thank him for many things, but that moment never came!

Saleem have parted with us forever, and the only memories he left behind are good and beautiful! There are very few blessed people who leave behind them only good feelings and recollections. It’s with tears and sting that I will say goodbye to Saleem. The void his absence has created in Karachi office and Techlogix could never be filled in! We all simply can’t imagine a Karachi office without Saleem!

O Allah, bestow your mercy and peace upon the gentle soul that has left us! Bless him with high honors in Janaat-ul-Firdous(the most esteemed Garden of the Heaven)! And give strength and peace to the hearts of those he left behind him especially his Family. (Ameen)

Saleem(extreme left first row) with Khi office after the cricket match